Tuesday Like a Monday

Feeling automatic and static

A barely awake still sleeping

Laundromat

With spinning towels

And magazine flipping

The loading dock, the parking lot

The refresh button is manual

Which requires me to wake up when the alarm goes off

Too steady is the repetition

And the repetition makes me never want to hit repeat

My guidelines needs sidelines
My credit needs a balance

Walking around, beneath, beyond and through

Over what matters and under the radar

Looking at junk mail as a sign of life

Even though it is automated like the alarm

Egg Sammich Perfecto

As if I didn't already write enough about food...

This morning I made the perfect egg sandwich or "egg sammich perfecto."  There's more than making the perfect egg sandwich than the actual act of making the perfect egg sandwich.  This is something I've done for years.  I've been a kid and made an egg sandwich.  Technique, ingredients, and panache have evolved, thankfully... and I've learned from my experiences, and this is why I'm writing about it.

Everything has changed about the egg sandwich without the essential purpose of the egg sandwich changing.  I promise you it makes sense (or at least it does to me, regardless of the silly metaphors).. The bread is now 12-grain, the eggs are 2, non-broken yolks and basted, which requires ice cubes, a cover for the pan, and lots of patience in order to get the yolk semi-hard and well, perfecto... Cheddar cheese is added but to one side of the bread that is toasted in the toaster over to make the bread crispy and the cheese melty.  Things I've owned for the first time = toaster oven, I've had one for a year now.  Also, I learned the method of basting or glazing eggs about 5 years ago.  Another, very key, ingredient that wasn't there before... kosher salt, sea salt would also work just fine.  The texture of this salt adds a bolder taste that compliments the egg, cheese, and bread just right.

This egg sandwich was so good I wanted to eat it in slow motion.  It was better than anything you could order out (because it wouldn't meet your specifications AND, more importantly, you didn't make it!) That stuff matters... to me.  I don't want to have to be able to make or re-create dishes I love.  I also don't have to be able to answer every question everyone has for me...but, I do like to feel successful at something that I've been working on for a very long time.  Actually, I don't really ever have to make that version of the egg sandwich again because I know if was done, accomplished, and appreciated. 

So, this is the part when I include more silly metaphors about how the egg sandwich assembly is like life.  Yes and no.  For the most part, the egg sandwich is an egg sandwich.  I haven't had one in a long time and I must've filled some craving for it...not yet falling into the law of diminishing returns category, etc.  There is that.  Secondly, however, I do think there is the building of maturing, intuition, and best use of resources, frame of reference that one only builds over time.  It also answer the 'age old' question...Why did my egg sandwich change?  Alright, that's probably enough of that.

It was a really fantastic egg sandwich...

Holiday Foods Triumphant

I've been happy with my culinary attempts lately... Part of the reason I am so happy about it is because the cooking adventures haven't always been as successful.  I feel as if, finally, I am able to choose recipes that suit my skills and I'm able to execute them and/or have minor adjustments. 

Christmas weekend I decided on the following menu:Cornish Hens (brined and roasted)
New Potatoes w/Dill Sauce
Procscuitto Wrapped Asparagus

I've never made a brine before and this one was easy enough to try.  Water, honey, sea salt, pepper, and a bay leaf... bring to a boil and let cool.  The hens soak in the brine for at least 8 hours or overnight.  So, some planning but it worked out so nicely.  The outside of the hens needed dried thyme, salt, and pepper.  The inside was stuffed with cilantro.  I like how simple this dish was and the brine, quite frankly, does all the work for you.  It makes the dish what it is... everything else is garnish, for the most part.  The hens roast for an hour and a turned halfway through... When in doubt, brine!

I faux pas'd the potatoes... I bought the right amount of new reds, I didn't, however, buy enough chive cream cheese.  So, the good news is I made half the potatoes and used the cream cheese, half a green pepper and about the same amount of dill.  The potatoes were perfect... just less and, for the amount of people eating them, it worked out for the best... I just have left over potatoes which will be a lovely lunch of dinner at a later time.

The procscuitto wrapped asparagus, for some reason, made me extremely happy.  I think, it is because, I never really made asparagus before and I tend to over cook veggies (and pasta)... So, again, simple recipe, the asaparus just needed to be groomed.  Taking 12 of them and making sure they are the same length.  A vegetable peeler used on the ends of the asparagus making them asthetically pleasing and probably more palatable, I'm assuming.  The salty water is brought to a boil and the asparagus is in it for about 3 minutes.  The recipe required I tie the bunch together and lower them in the boiling water... this didn't happen.  My asparagus weren't treated quite as gingerly... still, it worked out.  I prepared an ice bath for them for the post-3 minute boiling process to stop the cooking.  This is key.  It keeps the veggie from getting limpy.  Next, the asparagus are wrapped with procscuitto and salted.  Something these three dishes had in common...salt.  This was a salty dinner...however, delicious.  There was a balsamic vinegar glaze that was to be drizzled on top along with olive oil.  I don't reduce balsamic vinegar very often and, a lesson learned for me, is to do this ahead of time.  I should've worked on this early on in the dinner process, rather than later as the recipe called for the vinegar to cool and thicken.  Still, it was pourable and worked out just fine.

All the while I drank Frexienet, which is a bubbly from Spain...another nice compliment to cooking anything... It is relaxing and just a happy additive.

I'm just happy everything turned out so yummy... especially when you aren't exactly sure what is going to happen.  I like taken the risk and finding out it was so worthwhile.  The bad news is, I don't like making the same thing more than once or twice so...might not have it again in a while.  Still, confidence raised and I feel I am able to continue trying to make fun, new things...

The Art of Art

I've tried several times to write this month and have been unable to do so...I think, for the most part, it is due to this month feeling like one big virus.  While getting over this cold for the past two to three weeks...the best of thoughts and most busy of hands don't see to come to be quite as frequently.

Thankfully, some inspiration over the weekend is compelling me to write and take note and stop being so lazy...I saw the play, 'ART' on Saturday night.  I was visiting London when this play premiered.  I remember seeing the marquee and wondering about it...but I knew, basically, nothing except the title per the marquee.  Looking back, I would have liked to take the risk to see it. 

I feel that, like many forms of art we attend, cinematic, in play form, music, or otherwise, we tend to take something from it.  It may be a new dance or a funny quote.  For this play, for me, I saw a few things...some were more tangible than others.  I suppose, on a personal note, I tended to be guided toward the play as a whole...what live theatre is and how it is, indeed, an art.  Many times, throughout the many years I've been a songwriter and had a band...I question why I am doing what I am doing.  Why do you take the time to compose a song, perform it in front of others, record, bare soul, etc.  I need reminders as to why we do the things we do.  Money, quite certainly, isn't the answer, because if it was I would'nt have to think about this nearly this much and/or have to dedicate a paragraph or two about the subject.  Still, I think I do it for the love of the art.  It is self-satisfying and, really, others appreciating that and being supportive is a huge plus.  I don't think I would be the same without it.  And, to me, there is more to it that constant recognition.  I believe I thrive on the recognition and it doesn't hurt to have it but it should'nt be expected.

I'm not sure if the play wanted the audience to come away with any of that...but it did for me.  On a more concrete level...there was a theme of friendship throughout the play.  Why our friends are so important to us and how, often, we don't acknowledge that or share our feelings about it with our friends at all.  Our judgements may be, for whatever reason... I think, especially in times that aren't common and everyday...we tend to find the best in our friends and our friends find the best in us.  The past several months have been rather so-so for me and I've been in this flux of not-so-sure-I-am-where-I-want-to-be and, I feel, my true friends have shown through everything to show me how much they just care about me...which is nice to know.  I think the play focuses on three such friends.  Also, as difficult as it can be to reveal our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, at times, we don't have a choice and the choice we make can prove to be so much more helpful.  I enjoyed the dialouge filled with laughs, bickering, pleasant chat, disagreements, and admirable descent... There was a lot of humanity in the script and the three actors worked so well together to clearly portray and adapt this to the stage.  I was happy to be able to see it.  It isn't always that art feels transcendent and maybe it is my high expectations to make it so...however, fantastic when it does...

Oh, Alchemy on WESN

Thursday night was Oh, Alchemy live in the WESN studios.  As before any OA event, there was lots of fun anticipation and excitement about playing.  The radio is such a nebulous forum for playing live, in some ways, just due to the ambiguity of the situation.  You don't know how many people are listening or how you sound...if you can even be heard.  We did begin with lots of sound issues.  It was a struggle to hear vocals and we tried several things to make the vocals louder.  David was able to find a way to make it happen.  I'm not sure what he did.  I think he moved the monitor closer to Ben and Jason and managed to hook up cables in some way to make vocals louder.  To me, it is an amazing thing and I am thankful it worked out so well.  Due to this issue, we started about 30-45 minutes later than we would've liked to begin. 

Since we started late, we also decided to just play through the show and had a small interview after the performance.  I have the best time playing with my bandmates.  I have to remind myself how much I love playing with them and just enjoy the opportunity for what it is.  I often get tied up with thinking more about who listened and who asks about the show post-performance and what comments are made to me or others after...I think I want everyone to be as excited about everything Oh, Alchemy does as I am...and that just isn't the case.

Either way, the feelings of sad or feeling any sort of down seem to disappear as we begin to move on to the next performance and don't worry about it any longer.

The performance was good.  Aside from the sound issues.  We got through all the songs...new ones and some songs we have played for years.  It was very worthwhile and I hope we play there again soon.

Pup Penny

So, I got pup Penny the weekend my mom died.  It was this moment when you figure out that you need to stop waiting for the right time to make a decision.  There never seemed to be the right time for a puppy.  I lived in an apartment, I couldn't afford to take care of a puppy, I didn't have the time...whatever the excuses used in the past were thrown out the window.  I have referred to her in the past as, 'the right dog at the right time.' This is true.  She was quite a distraction and really just what I needed, at the time...then and for many other reasons. 

And, it is this time I year I think about my mom's passing because it was this time of year when it happened.  I'm not able to not think about it but, at the same time, I don't think I should not think about it and remember her.  Something more difficult is remembering her condition at this time because she was certainly not herself.  She was in hospice care and confined to a hospital bed in my parent's house. 

I had this dog.  She had to be financed.  She was an expensive dog.  She was worth every penny, somewhat where the name came from...although her middle name being "Lane" reflective of the Beatles song seems somewhat more cool.  Either way, she was going to be pup Penny. 

She is 10 years old now, which is also a reminder of how long my mom has been gone.  Penny still an amazing dog who has a spunky spirit and this human-like nature...it is almost surreal.  She is the smartest dog I've ever had...and, I know, I've cried with her and it was like she totally understood.  Dogs are so wonderful that way...what they can sense and how they know just the right time to come by and lay down in your lap (which, coincidentally or not, is what she is doing right now...)

This is for pup Penny.

My Eternal Pursuit of Awkwardicity

Still trying to kick this cold.  I haven't been able to sleep, very solidly, for at least 2 days.  Last night was worse...tonight/this morning just a reminder of the previous night and seems almost expected.  This cold very much makes me want to move to a warmer climate.  I get frustrated and grumpy when I feel this way...I also, or so it seems, get downright giddy with cold med..something that is amusing and annoying all at the same time.

Friday I went back into work.  The day started with a case of the giggles and the early morning radio show was cracking me up with silly jokes about daylight savings time.  Later, while flipping through the stations, the Hootie and the Blowfish song, "Only Want to Be with You" is on and that alone makes me actually laugh out loud.  Maybe an indicator of how the day would go.  I had a nice time talking with Pam and Sharon, who sit near me...we had stories about growing up and other random things that helped me to wake up a little bit...I also had a few inquiries about how I was feeling from a few people who work near me...which is very kind and comforting.  It is nice to know people care about how you.  The day itself really flew by.  I had meetings and good discussions.  I was able to accomplish a good amount of work left over from the two days I missed.  The last meeting of the day, also fine, but then I started to feel horrible.  The congestion seemed at an all time high.  I was getting a headache...and borrowed some Mucinex.  I drank some Snapple called Mango Madness...which I would've liked to rename Mango Mediocre, or as David called it when I told him the story, Mango Meh...which I think I prefer...Nothing was feeling so good.  It was difficult to concentrate.  Someone mentioned having "no one to hold it" and I immediately think of the Kenny Roger's song, "The Gambler" "They'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done." I was obviously, at that point, done with my work day and ready for sleep or some sort of relaxing time in an attempt to feel better.  It wasn't an easy night.

Saturday, even though it started out rather sleepy and rough, turned out fine, for the most part.  I had an early morning haircut at a new salon.  I wanted to try Jenni's Salon and Spa, one because it was located close to where I live and two it was recommended.  I have been looking for a new stylist now for months.  In keeping with my eternal pursuit of awkwardicity I started to become chatty with the stylist during the hairwashing experience.  I also am a fan of the hairwashing experience.  I am very much fine with keeping things quiet and nixing the talking during it.  Quite frankly, I am very much fine nixing the talking during a lot of things that I won't take the name to right now but...I'm just saying I'm pro 'not talking' in order to enjoy something enjoyable.  I didn't realize keeping things quiet and not talking during the hairwashing experience was protocol.  I should've picked up on that, considering no one else was talking...however, I didn't and instead I looked like a jerkface.  Ha.  Well, I didn't say that much but I was asking questions and being a little bit of a conversationalist when it really isn't supposed to be allowed.  Post-hair washing I was told they follow the 'silent sanctuary' philosophy there during the hairwashing experience.  Ahhh...and that makes perfect sense.  I think I am used to going to places where things are rather busy and even somewhat chaotic at the communal sinks and didn't expect this.  I was made to feel somewhat classless but instead, I just chalk it up to a learning experience.

The haircut itself was fine.  I like how she cut the length.  I don't love the shorter bangs.  I almost doesn't matter if I say, "don't cut my bangs" someone always cuts my bangs.  I like them at a ridiculously long length.  I use them as shelter, my security blanket, home... SO, she cut them and cut them shorter than I would've liked.  I should've rephrased, "don't touch the bangs" to make that more clear.  I am probably the worst client ever because I say such things and keep such a close eye on what the stylist is doing.  This time, however, I didn't watch her close enough.  It looked like she was 'shaping them up' but instead, she cut them shorter.  Eehhh, anyway, not terrible and I can actually see now, which is also not terrible and some would say a benefit.

David and I had lunch soon after that...I had the roasted red pepper and eggplant soup with a half Vermont grilled cheese sandwich.  Both of these things are worth writing about...wonderfulstuff.  I think it was practically perfect for the way I was feeling.  I felt a little buzzy still on a 7 out of 12 hour high on Sudafed, at that point.  I had stories and perspective for everything.  Probably things I really didn't need to voice an opinion on...voiced and comments made and shared.  Thankfully, David is kind enough to humor me and possibly not care.

Band practice was fun.  We traveled out to Ben's house in Hudson.  I thought about 'rocking Hudson' which made me thing of Rock Hudson, who I know very little about...and this was proven to be true the more bandmates and I discussed the former actor and the movies he has been in...we had a difficult time coming up with what the movies might be and further no one was able to dissern if he was or was not "foxy."  It was just too hard to tell.  He fell somewhere in the "movie actor for a specific era" category which I don't think lends itself to the term one way or another. 

Good practice, I sang "Billie Jean" and we went through 3 new songs.  I was happy about that and also happy to be able to add percussion to the new songs, decide what we like in which song and just practice the songs for me to learn the lyrics.  We talked about our Thursday radio appearance and some details behind that...we also have a potential show that we have been invited to play on December 10th which may or may not be difficult to swing.  I don't know.  I had the opportunity to get behind a really huge drum set and make lots of racket...something I love doing.  I could never be a drummer ever but I do like playing with musical instruments of all kinds...especially when I don't own them.  So, good time...and hopefully we are ready for Thursday.